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Stupidest Book Ever
Jan. 28th, 2010 07:55 pmI just read the stupidest book ever!!! And keep in mind I did read Breaking Dawn too. This book was stupider (yes I realise that's not a word, but this is what that book has reduced me to :P).
I was in a bit of a funk today and thought what the hell, I'll just borrow out a stupid silly trashy novel and forget about everything else. I picked up a book that I thought would be your typical trashy silly paranormal romance novel. I'm not even going to mention the title because I'm that embarassed. Even expecting it to be just a silly trashy read, and fully prepared to laugh at the cliches in the book, I was gobsmacked. Nothing in the book made sense. The plot was just ... one big wtf moment. There wasn't even a steamy romance to keep you even remotely interested.
Here's basically what I made of the book. It's a wannabe 'Sex in the City' type deal - 4 women who are best friends living the flashy life in New York. They just happen to be demons - working for Satan ... who is a woman (actually this part I can believe :P). The main character can get out of her contract with Satan if she gets a mortal to fall in love with her while knowing she's a demon. But she's not a tortured soul who was wickedly tricked into working for Satan, she likes working for Satan still. *blinks* So why does she want to get out of the contract? Oh yeah, because she wants to be loved. They're also being targeted by some sort of Christian cruisader types who *obviously* want to eradicate them because they're demons. She does meet a mortal man, and stresses about when to call him, when not to call him, bla bla bla. There was nothing even vaguely appealing or attractive (to the reader) about any of the 4 best friends. To say characterisation sucked is a generous compliment.
That's it. That's all I got out of it. I got through about 2 chapters before I said screw this, this is beyond stupid. But I couldn't resist flipping through and trying to see if I could spot any not-so-bad parts later on in the book. Nada. Zip. The plot did not make sense. Apparently they were being betrayed by someone who was also working for Satan. Did they find out who's after them? Did she find true love? I HAVE NO FRIGGIN CLUE. The author (in what she obviously thought as a very smart plot ploy) left the reader a massive cliffhanger and didn't conclude any plot questions, wanting the reader to hang in and read the next book. There's only one problem. NOTHING WAS CONCLUDED. She left the reader just as confused about what actually happened as when the book started. A cliffhanger is effective if you leave one small aspect of the plot of the book unresolved. The main issue however, should be resolved. If it's a mystery with a bit of romance thrown in, (which this book is obviously aiming to be), tell us who did the bad deed, but leave the romance in the air for the next book. If you don't resolve ANY of the issues in the book, THAT IS AN CALLED UNFINISHED BOOK!!!! Not a cliffhanger.
*sigh* If you've spoken to me about the Twilight books before, you will undoubtedly know how much I can't stand the book Breaking Dawn. So when I say this book was stupider than Breaking Dawn, you will know how incredibly dumb this book is. I am stunned that this even got published. If stuff like this can get published, then it makes me think that the novel I'm half tempted to write isn't such a bad idea after all.
I was in a bit of a funk today and thought what the hell, I'll just borrow out a stupid silly trashy novel and forget about everything else. I picked up a book that I thought would be your typical trashy silly paranormal romance novel. I'm not even going to mention the title because I'm that embarassed. Even expecting it to be just a silly trashy read, and fully prepared to laugh at the cliches in the book, I was gobsmacked. Nothing in the book made sense. The plot was just ... one big wtf moment. There wasn't even a steamy romance to keep you even remotely interested.
Here's basically what I made of the book. It's a wannabe 'Sex in the City' type deal - 4 women who are best friends living the flashy life in New York. They just happen to be demons - working for Satan ... who is a woman (actually this part I can believe :P). The main character can get out of her contract with Satan if she gets a mortal to fall in love with her while knowing she's a demon. But she's not a tortured soul who was wickedly tricked into working for Satan, she likes working for Satan still. *blinks* So why does she want to get out of the contract? Oh yeah, because she wants to be loved. They're also being targeted by some sort of Christian cruisader types who *obviously* want to eradicate them because they're demons. She does meet a mortal man, and stresses about when to call him, when not to call him, bla bla bla. There was nothing even vaguely appealing or attractive (to the reader) about any of the 4 best friends. To say characterisation sucked is a generous compliment.
That's it. That's all I got out of it. I got through about 2 chapters before I said screw this, this is beyond stupid. But I couldn't resist flipping through and trying to see if I could spot any not-so-bad parts later on in the book. Nada. Zip. The plot did not make sense. Apparently they were being betrayed by someone who was also working for Satan. Did they find out who's after them? Did she find true love? I HAVE NO FRIGGIN CLUE. The author (in what she obviously thought as a very smart plot ploy) left the reader a massive cliffhanger and didn't conclude any plot questions, wanting the reader to hang in and read the next book. There's only one problem. NOTHING WAS CONCLUDED. She left the reader just as confused about what actually happened as when the book started. A cliffhanger is effective if you leave one small aspect of the plot of the book unresolved. The main issue however, should be resolved. If it's a mystery with a bit of romance thrown in, (which this book is obviously aiming to be), tell us who did the bad deed, but leave the romance in the air for the next book. If you don't resolve ANY of the issues in the book, THAT IS AN CALLED UNFINISHED BOOK!!!! Not a cliffhanger.
*sigh* If you've spoken to me about the Twilight books before, you will undoubtedly know how much I can't stand the book Breaking Dawn. So when I say this book was stupider than Breaking Dawn, you will know how incredibly dumb this book is. I am stunned that this even got published. If stuff like this can get published, then it makes me think that the novel I'm half tempted to write isn't such a bad idea after all.
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, and the other girls (you know who you are) for help and suggestions 
. He's coming though 
I hope the switch between narrative voice and normal action/dialogue works alright. 
